Send queries about the company, money, professions and work-life harmony to workfriend@nytimes.com. Incorporate your name and location, or a request to be anonymous. Words may be edited. A Loss to CommunicateI function in a small, close-knit, various team in a significant health care organization. We have worked well together for centuries and have rarely, and pleasantly, socialized up outside of work. Lately, two of my coworkers have significantly cooled off. They had a scuffle over an office-related issue ( parking ), which probably would not have been a big deal, but then one of them ( P ) trash talked the other ( Q ) in Spanish to another Spanish-speaking colleague. The issue is that this occurred in front of Q, who is not familiar with Spanish, and that Q is. I worry more will be said in this manner, leading to more painful sensations. Is it acceptable to move in this way? — AnonymousThis feels a little like an “A-story” in an NBC show. ( I’d call the episode” Mind Your P’s and Q’s”. ) In truth, when I ran your query by my writer, his answer was:” Like in-office battling”! I love it as well… when I’m not the subject of it, of training. However, I wo n’t indulge in the amusement because it turns out to be awkward because this is n’t a situation comedy. — and one I’m engaged in tackling. First things first: Parking. You may think it’s not a big deal, but it’s an concern for a reasonable amount of us, and not just in the context of the workplace. ( I live in Los Angeles. ) Of course, it’s possible, even probable, that the negative emotions that resulted from the park fight are evidence of a deeper issue between your two acquaintances. However, there are times when a parking area is all that. A few studies and thoughts. No. 1: That Q understands Spanish heightens the bets in this situation, but it’s also secondary. The bigger concern is that P decided it was inappropriate to trash talk a partner in front of the partner in the first place. No. 2: View below. ( I ca n’t emphasize enough how inappropriate this was. ) Here’s where you come in. You’re wondering whether to explain to P that Q understood what P had to declare. Would you fear that if you tell, there will be more conflict? Or do you worry that P wo n’t understand Q because he wo n’t continue to trash talk him? Or just a little bit of both? Talk, in a perfect world, P would be horrified and embarrassed to know that Q understood all. However, P initially felt at ease when he trash-talked Q in front of Q. Thus, perhaps all bets are out. I have another issue: How close are you to these two? You appear to be at a distance because you describe your “occasional” socializing with P outside of labor. This makes things more complicated because it might seem ( P ) that you’re picking sides on a subject that is n’t really your area of expertise. That said, it could n’t hurt to give P a quiet heads-up about Q’s literacy in Spanish. You could say something like,” I just wanted you to know that I think Q’s feelings were hurt the other day ( week, month, year ) when you complained about the parking situation. Q understands Spanish, you know” .We are having difficulty retrieving the article content. In your browser’s settings, kindly help Browser. Thank you for your patience while exposure is verified. If you are in Audience mode please leave and log into your Times accounts, or listen for all of The Times. Thank you for your patience while accessibility is verified. Presently a customer? Register in. Want all of The Times? Subscribe.